| for the love of many; 11:09 AM
this shall be a random post.
and my 100 post.
like finally!
HAHA
late last night
i was so pissed off with my dad.
he started his "thing" again.
and when he start his "thing"
it will never be a good night for me.
he can just go on and on
rattling to himself like i care
sometimes, i really hate him for doing this.
so what if we did something wrong and he do not know anything about it?
its no big deal
he loves to incur my wrath.
spouting vulgaraties in the air
assuming like we do not know what he is saying.
as he went on and on.
talking about the past mistakes that we have done
saying that we are never appreciative of what he has done for the family
i dont know why, but he loves to talk about the past
bringing back all the sad memories
one thing i will never forget in my life
On a random day
came back late from school( i was still a beattyian)
he asked me why i was late.
told him i was helping my friend with something.
he doesnt believe me.
went into the kitchen
to my horror
he was holding a knife or a chopper.(cant remember which one)
he came over to me
pointed near my stomach area
he asked me
"you want to die right?dont want obey me!"
at that time
my mum and sister were about to leave the house.
i was so scared at that moment
i wished they would stay to help me in this mess
however, before my mum left
he told my dad
"anything happen to him, i will divorce u immediately"
her words give me hope though.
and the rest is history
shall not elaborate further.
the more i elaborate
the more i want to to turn emo and tear.
and he has diffrent mood everyday
at one point of time, he can be joking with u
next, he could me screaming and shouting at the top of his lungs at you.
the hidden identities, yet to be known and uncovered.
i really want to get to know him deeper
i tried my very best
but still you were not open to me
why is this so?to me, in the eyes of him
i can consider myself as the blacksheep of the family
give me a chance daddy
to get to know you more
despite all the scoldings and rants
i still love you
yes i do
like wad w learn from the bible,
honour your father and your mother
this
my dad; just like a chamelon who change its color
the many identities in him will never be uncovered.
sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhsssssss
i feel so much better now.
after typing out here.
it will be a good day for me.
going out with cousins later in the afternoon.
i wished that you will always be here for me~
Labels: where were you; when i needed you here for me most?
